Wednesday, March 7, 2012

March Madness: Bronze Division: Round One



The cosmic buttinsky known as The Interferer has broken out of the back issue of The Omega Men that he had been trapped in for decades, thanks to the Flash's mommy issues or something. Shortly before the Post-Crisis DC Universe collapsed into Flashpoint, the Interferer read the Salvation Run trade paperback, and thought it was too cool. The Interferer tried to find Salvation, but failing that, landed in a back issue of Showcase with a joint similar enough to have some fun. Figuring nobody would miss them, the Interferer took all of the Martian Manhunter's rogues gallery to a battle planet inspired by Manhunter 2070. It would have been rad to kill J'Onn J'Onzz again, but he ended up in The Outsider, so we'll have to make do...

Commander Blanx stood defiantly atop the rain shadow, his cape blowing in the breeze, head covered in Persian garb like something out of Lawrence of Arabia. He gazed upon the Bronze Desert, and recalled past glories. His Pole Dwellers had conquered the green-skins in their land, much like this. Even alone, against such opposition, he saw no reason why he couldn't repeat his accomplishment...

Far below, The Martian Criminal raced across the sands. He relished his freedom, and welcomed familiar terrain, even as he feared recapture. On Earth, he had been called a "Magician-Thief" because of the super-powers he had gained there. He could feel that strength returning, but his telescopic vision seemed to betray him. He appeared that he would soon reach an oasis, and under a palm tree near a crystal clear pool lounged the beautiful seductress Bel Juz...

The Renegades of Mars desperately needed such a respite, as their ancient Martian souls remained trapped in fragile human bodies. They found much needed water in a patch of cacti, but out from behind the prickly flora came a most unusual sight, aggressive Martian Mandrills whose nostril snorts managed to make the air all the more sultry. Little pink humans like these had once mind-controlled the beasts, and they all looked alike to the simians...

Tybalt Bak'sar fretted over the engines in his jet pack potentially clogging from sand whipped up below, but the area was crawling with despicable Martians like the one who helped stop his crusade against the Green Lantern Corps. The Prophet was also in the air, and his very religion had been injured by the Manhunter from Mars. However, his potential for sharing revenge with Bak'sar was tempered by his awareness that the alien terrorist was no less a heretic in need of inquisition...

Malador was a wizard of no small power, but he savored thoughts of what he could do with an artifact like the Diabolu Idol-Head. His sorcery led him to a network of caves, but he learned that there were many other majiks at work here. Like Malador, Strega had once faced the Martian Manhunter, but he was joined by The Divine's force of vengeance, not an otherdimensional imp. She wondered if perhaps Malador had his own artifacts worth pilfering...

The Devil Men of Pluto suffered as much as anyone
out where the river broke. They were used to the icy wastes of their dwarf planet far removed from the sun, not the blood wood and the desert oak. Passing holden wrecks and boiling diesels, they escaped the steaming forty five degrees to the shade of the caves. In the darkness lay darker magics, as Doctor Samedi clung to a side wall, awaiting his prey like a spider in its web...

Doctor Light found no shortage of his namesake under the white hot twin suns, and he fully intended to use it to his advantage. However, his adversary was Triumph, who didn't necessarily need vision to attack with the might of this planet's electromagnetic field. Triumph had put together a team that would eventually form the nucleus of the Justice League. Both men now had cause to hate the group, but for the moment, their anger would be directed at one another...

N’orr Cott awoke on the burning sand, not so different from the suffering that was his time on Mars II. He might have been the Commander of the Martian Army, but he would have happily traded that elevation in status for a better life elsewhere. That's how he was convinced by R’es Eda to frame J'onn J'onzz for treason and march the military to conquer the city of Baltaz. A shame that N'orr's last memory was of dying, his flesh mottled by Baltaz's toxic atmosphere. Cott had been given a second life, and here was the author of his demise, R'es Eda, approaching with sword drawn. Perhaps there would be a different fatality in this draft of the story...

Libra felt a pang of despair from the sense of being near to his lord god Darkseid, but too far to feel the soothing chill of his presence in this barren, dusky land. Closer were a slew of villains who could perhaps be swayed to join him in service, but the more immediate concern was shelter. Approaching a cave, Libra saw a robed, elderly figure emerge. The Wizard Diabolu was master of his own menagerie of monstrocities, and had no interest in Libra's evangelism. With the turn of a key, Diabolu opened his Idol-Head...

The Mercurian felt no discomfort under the desert heat, as you've never seen fire until you've seen Mercury rise. Still, the bloody winds blew copper sand that blinded and scoured flesh. The ground became unsteady under his feet, as twin aliens of a similar red hue over a dune attempted to force back the assault on their large, vulnerable eyes. Jeepers creepers, the Mercurian wondered how these Invaders from the Space Warp would react to ray blast between them...

The Human Squirrel scampered across the sands toward a rocky ridge. He never once considered shedding his suit, so impractical but essential to his identity. His fur was damp with sweat, and things were about to get hotter. Mike Miller was just as married to his suit, at least as long as it sheltered him from the environment. He might not be the biggest or best super-villain, but he figured The Human Flame could at least roast an oversized rodent...

Round One
Bel Juz vs. The Martian Criminal
The Renegades of Mars vs. The Martian Mandrills
Tybalt Bak'sar vs. The Prophet
Malador vs. Strega
Doctor Samedi vs. The Devil Men of Pluto
Doctor Light vs. Triumph
N’orr Cott vs. R’es Eda
Libra vs. Diabolu the Wizard and his Idol-Head
The Mercurian vs. The Invaders From the Space Warp
The Human Squirrel vs. The Human Flame

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